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Academe, n.: An ancient school where morali

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Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: [from academe] A modern school where football is taught.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Marriage, n: The state or condition of a co

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Marriage, n: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.

Mammon, n.: The god of the world's leading

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Mammon, n.: The god of the world's leading religion.

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading f

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Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish h

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Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morali

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Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and

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Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

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Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Patience: A minor form of despair disguised

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Patience: A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.

Commerce, n. A kind of transaction in which A plu

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Commerce, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of C, and for compensation B picks the pocket of D of money belonging to E.

Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to t

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Abstainer, n. A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.

Poker, n. A game said to be played with car

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Poker, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.

Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds

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Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds

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Ocean: A body of water occupying two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.

Marriage, n. A community consisting of a ma

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Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two.

Quotation, n.: The act of repeating erroneou

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Quotation, n.: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated.

Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its

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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting met

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Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

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