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Computing is not about computers any more.

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Computing is not about computers any more. It is about living.

But they are useless. They can only give yo

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But they are useless. They can only give you answers.

Home computers are being called upon to perform ma

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Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

As network administrator I can take down the netw

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As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws.

Computers, huh? I've heard it all boils dow

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Computers, huh? I've heard it all boils down to just a bunch of ones and zeroes.... I don't know how that enables me to see naked women, but however it works, God bless you guys.

Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and l

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Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

User, n. The word computer professionals us

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User, n. The word computer professionals use when they mean idiot.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize th

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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, f

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If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of ru

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Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.

Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.

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Never let a computer know you're in a hurry.

Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reb

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Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble

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The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.

After growing wildly for years, the field of comp

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After growing wildly for years, the field of computing appears to be reaching its infancy.

Computer Science is no more about computers than

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Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.

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Computers have lots of memory but no imagination.

To err is human, but to really foul things up req

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To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Hardware: where the people in your company'

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Hardware: where the people in your company's software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company's hardware section will tell you the problem is.

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