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If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbin

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If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate.

When baking, follow directions. When cookin

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When baking, follow directions. When cooking, go by your own taste.

Red meat is not bad for you. Now blu

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Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that

High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk.

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High-tech tomatoes. Mysterious milk. Supersquash. Are we supposed to eat this stuff? Or is it going to eat us?

My favorite animal is steak.

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My favorite animal is steak.

It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administrat

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It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat.

Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of

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Great eaters and great sleepers are incapable of anything else that is great.

Anybody who believes that the way to a man's hear

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Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.

The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mor

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The bagel, an unsweetened doughnut with rigor mortis.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant tho

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It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

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