A bargain is something you can't use at a price y
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A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist.
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, y
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As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
If there is something you must do and you cannot
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If there is something you must do and you cannot do it, you cannot do anything else.
I tell you this, and I tell you plain:
What y
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I tell you this, and I tell you plain:
What you have done, you will do again;
You will bite your tongue, careful or not,
Upon the already-bitten spot.
People who want to share their religious views wi
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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
It's always been and always will be the same in t
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It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
There are many in this old world of ours who hold
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There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter.
No one is listening until you fart.
The man who says he is willing to meet you halfwa
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The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.
If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpen
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If an article is attractive, or useful, or inexpensive, they'll stop making it tomorrow; if it's all three, they stopped making it yesterday.
I find I always have to write something on a stea
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I find I always have to write something on a steamed mirror.
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to expla
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Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of brea
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
How is it that our memory is good enough to retai
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How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person?
Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bed
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Why do they put the Gideon Bibles only in the bedrooms, where it's usually too late, and not in the barroom downstairs?
When the plane you are on is late, the plane you
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When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to
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It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
If you tell the boss you were late for work becau
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If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
An unwatched pot boils immediately.
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