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I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigaret

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I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven't had time for tobacco since.

One thousand Americans stop smoking every day - b

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One thousand Americans stop smoking every day - by dying.

There's something luxurious about having a girl l

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There's something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.

There are some circles in America where it seems

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There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

It has always been my rule never to smoke when as

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It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.

For the first time in history, sex is more danger

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For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward.

I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and s

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I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: Oh well, and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over

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Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your cigarettes.

To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of eit

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To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of either a life-work.

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did.

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To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times.

Smoke your pipe and be silent; there's only wind

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Smoke your pipe and be silent; there's only wind and smoke in the world.

Tobacco. Tumor causing, teeth staining, sme

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Tobacco. Tumor causing, teeth staining, smelly, puking habit.

Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it

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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

If you must smoke, take your butt outside.

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If you must smoke, take your butt outside.

Little tube of mighty pow'r, Charmer of an id

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Little tube of mighty pow'r,
Charmer of an idle hour,
Object of my warm desire.

Tobacco is a dirty weed. I like it. It

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Tobacco is a dirty weed. I like it.
It satisfies no normal need. I like it.
It makes you thin, it makes you lean,
It takes the hair right off your bean
It's the worst darn stuff I've ever seen.
I like it.

A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a gre

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A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores.

The believing we do something when we do nothing

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The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco.

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