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If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is l

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If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.

The more you sweat in practice, the less you blee

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The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle.

I always turn to the sports section first.

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I always turn to the sports section first. The sports section records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.

I wanted to have a career in sports when I was yo

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I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football. And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.

With the money I'm making, I should be playing tw

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With the money I'm making, I should be playing two positions.

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