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He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamppost

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He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts - for support rather than for illumination.

One more fagot of these adamantine bandages is th

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One more fagot of these adamantine bandages is the new science of Statistics.

I always find that statistics are hard to swallow

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I always find that statistics are hard to swallow and impossible to digest. The only one I can ever remember is that if all the people who go to sleep in church were laid end to end they would be a lot more comfortable.

The average human has one breast and one testicle

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The average human has one breast and one testicle.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at mat

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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Statistics can be made to prove anything - even t

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Statistics can be made to prove anything - even the truth.

I abhor averages. I like the individual cas

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I abhor averages. I like the individual case. A man may have six meals one day and none the next, making an average of three meals per day, but that is not a good way to live.

Statistics are human beings with the tears wiped

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Statistics are human beings with the tears wiped off.

98% of all statistics are made up.

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98% of all statistics are made up.

Torture numbers, and they'll confess to anything.

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Torture numbers, and they'll confess to anything.

Do not put your faith in what statistics say unti

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Do not put your faith in what statistics say until you have carefully considered what they do not say.

The theory of probabilities is at bottom nothing

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The theory of probabilities is at bottom nothing but common sense reduced to calculus.

Statistics are like bikinis. What they reve

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Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.

I could prove God statistically. Take the h

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I could prove God statistically. Take the human body alone - the chances that all the functions of an individual would just happen is a statistical monstrosity.

Statistics are like women; mirrors of purest virt

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Statistics are like women; mirrors of purest virtue and truth, or like whores to use as one pleases.

The death of one man is a tragedy. The deat

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The death of one man is a tragedy. The death of millions is a statistic.

There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you l

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There are two kinds of statistics, the kind you look up and the kind you make up.

Then there is the man who drowned crossing a stre

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Then there is the man who drowned crossing a stream with an average depth of six inches.

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