Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were
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Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know.
If you read a lot of books, you're considered wel
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If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed.
TV will never be a serious competitor for radio b
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TV will never be a serious competitor for radio because people must sit and keep their eyes glued on a screen; the average American family hasn't time for it.
I could have been a doctor, but there were too ma
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I could have been a doctor, but there were too many good shows on TV.
Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be w
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Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?
I wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the
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I wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called brightness, but that doesn't work.
Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of be
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Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world.
TV. If kids are entertained by two letters,
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TV. If kids are entertained by two letters, imagine the fun they'll have with twenty-six. Open your child's imagination. Open a book.
Your cable television is experiencing difficultie
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Your cable television is experiencing difficulties. Please do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV se
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Ninety-eight percent of American homes have TV sets, which means the people in the other 2% have to generate their own sex and violence.
They say that ninety percent of TV is junk.
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They say that ninety percent of TV is junk. But, ninety percent of everything is junk.
If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and th
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If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
If you came and you found a strange man... teachi
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If you came and you found a strange man... teaching your kids to punch each other, or trying to sell them all kinds of products, you'd kick him right out of the house, but here you are; you come in and the TV is on, and you don't think twice about it.
Basketball is the MTV of sports.
If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.
Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of be
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Flowers... are a proud assertion that a ray of beauty outvalues all the utilities of the world.
The one function that TV news performs very well
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The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.
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