If you make any money, the government shoves you i
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If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.
Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in lov
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Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.
The good thing about masturbation is that you don
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The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it.
If you want to forget all your other troubles, we
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If you want to forget all your other troubles, wear too tight shoes.
The caterpillar does all the work but the butterf
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The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
Gettin' good players is easy. Gettin' 'em t
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Gettin' good players is easy. Gettin' 'em to play together is the hard part.
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if
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Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
Dreams are free therapy, but you can only get app
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Dreams are free therapy, but you can only get appointments at night.
Women get the last word in every argument.
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Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out
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You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to
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Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic w
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A nickel will get you on the subway, but garlic will get you a seat.
If the mind, that rules the body, ever so far for
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If the mind, that rules the body, ever so far forgets itself as to trample on its slave, the slave is never generous enough to forgive the injury, but will rise and smite the oppressor.
See, the human mind is kind of like... a pi
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See, the human mind is kind of like... a pi ata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the pi ata perspective, you see that losing your mind can be a peak experience.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run
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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a
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Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize th
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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in.
Some luck lies in not getting what you thought yo
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Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known.
There he stands, draped in more equipment than a
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There he stands, draped in more equipment than a telephone lineman, trying to outwit an organism with a brain no bigger than a breadcrumb, and getting licked in the process.
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