The number of shots taken by an opponent who is o
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The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.
Golf is like a love affair. If you don't ta
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Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black
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Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour.
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind
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I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, f
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Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious.
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyon
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I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head do
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The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Golf is so popular simply because it is the best
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Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marb
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I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach y
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Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.
What other people may find in poetry or art museu
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What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
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If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs.&
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Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her.
Golf combines two favorite American pastimes:
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Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a
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It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf.
Forget your opponents; always play against par.
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Forget your opponents; always play against par.
I'm about five inches from being an outstanding g
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I'm about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That's the distance my left ear is from my right.
They say golf is like life, but don't believe the
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They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.
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