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If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price

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If you're a gifted flirt, talking about the price of eggs will do as well as any other subject.

In general, mankind, since the improvement of coo

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In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.

The idea that you can merchandise candidates for

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The idea that you can merchandise candidates for high office like breakfast cereal - that you can gather votes like box tops - is... the ultimate indignity to the democratic process.

If... the machine of government... is of such a n

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If... the machine of government... is of such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then, I say, break the law.

Might we not say to the confused voices which some

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Might we not say to the confused voices which sometimes arise from the depths of our being: Ladies, be so kind as to speak only four at a time?

I always pass on good advice. It's the only

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I always pass on good advice. It's the only thing to do with it. It is never any use to oneself.

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you

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The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

The true secret of giving advice is, after you ha

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The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right.

I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot

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I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist

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If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist

Choices are the hinges of destiny.

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Choices are the hinges of destiny.

God offers to every mind its choice between truth

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God offers to every mind its choice between truth and repose. Take which you please - you can never have both.

Prejudices are the chains forged by ignorance to

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Prejudices are the chains forged by ignorance to keep men apart.

This is a court of law, young man, not a court of

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This is a court of law, young man, not a court of justice.

The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the f

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The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.

Advertisements are now so numerous that they are

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Advertisements are now so numerous that they are very negligently perused, and it is therefore become necessary to gain attention by magnificence of promises and by eloquence sometimes sublime and sometimes pathetick.

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