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Las Vegas is sort of like how God would do it if

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Las Vegas is sort of like how God would do it if he had money.

An onion can make people cry, but there has never

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An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything th

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A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children.

Plant a radish, get a radish, never any doubt.

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Plant a radish, get a radish, never any doubt. That's why I love vegetables, you know what they're about!

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

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What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Las Vegas is Everyman's cut-rate Babylon. N

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Las Vegas is Everyman's cut-rate Babylon. Not far away there is, or was, a roadside lunch counter and over it a sign proclaiming in three words that a Roman emperor's orgy is now a democratic institution. Topless Pizza Lunch.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if

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Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Las Vegas - my favorite desert mirage.

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Las Vegas - my favorite desert mirage.

Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables.

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Shipping is a terrible thing to do to vegetables. They probably get jet-lagged, just like people.

Nothing more strongly arouses our disgust than ca

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Nothing more strongly arouses our disgust than cannibalism, yet we make the same impression on Buddhists and vegetarians, for we feed on babies, though not our own.

For me, Vegas is a vacation from being overinhibi

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For me, Vegas is a vacation from being overinhibited, in the highly overinhabited yet uninhabitable city of complete uninhibition.

I did not become a vegetarian for my health, I di

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I did not become a vegetarian for my health, I did it for the health of the chickens.

There is always a sneer in Las Vegas. The m

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There is always a sneer in Las Vegas. The mountains around it sneer. The desert sneers. And arrogant in the middle of its wide valley, dominating those diligent sprawling suburbs, the downtown city sneers like anything.

Las Vegas: all the amenities of modern soci

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Las Vegas: all the amenities of modern society in a habitat unfit to grow a tomato.

Las Vegas looks the way you'd

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Las Vegas looks the way you'd imagine heaven must look at night.

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of pu

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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

This special feeling towards fruit, its glory and

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This special feeling towards fruit, its glory and abundance, is I would say universal.... We respond to strawberry fields or cherry orchards with a delight that a cabbage patch or even an elegant vegetable garden cannot provoke.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if

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Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas.&

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Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.

The greatest delight the fields and woods ministe

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The greatest delight the fields and woods minister is the suggestion of an occult relation between man and the vegetable. I am not alone and unacknowledged. They nod to me and I to them.

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