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When a man sends you an impudent letter, sit righ

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When a man sends you an impudent letter, sit right down and give it back to him with interest ten times compounded, and then throw both letters in the wastebasket.

All religions are the same: religion is bas

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All religions are the same: religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.

Fate often puts all the material for happiness an

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Fate often puts all the material for happiness and prosperity into a man's hands just to see how miserable he can make himself with them.

You're never fully dressed without a smile.

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You're never fully dressed without a smile.

With the money I'm making, I should be playing tw

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With the money I'm making, I should be playing two positions.

Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to chan

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Lord, where we are wrong, make us willing to change; where we are right, make us easy to live with.

Men may scoff, and men may pray, but they pay ever

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Men may scoff, and men may pray, but they pay every pleasure with a pain.

With this humble instrumentality did it please Pr

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With this humble instrumentality did it please Providence to prepare the theatre for those events by which a new dispensation of liberty was to be communicated to man.

Teamwork is so important that it is virtually imp

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Teamwork is so important that it is virtually impossible for you to reach the heights of your capabilities or make the money that you want without becoming very good at it.

The naked earth is warm with Spring, And with

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The naked earth is warm with Spring,
And with green grass and bursting trees
Leans to the sun's kiss glorying,
And quivers in the sunny breeze.

A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man

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A man with one watch knows what time it is; a man with two watches is never quite sure.

For my brethren and companions' sake, I will now

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For my brethren and companions' sake, I will now ask, Peace be with thee.

You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabb

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You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car.

I really don't think I need buns of steel.

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I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon.

A book reads the better which is our own, and has

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A book reads the better which is our own, and has been so long known to us, that we know the topography of its blots, and dog's ears, and can trace the dirt in it to having read it at tea with buttered muffins.

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat

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Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

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